Forever lost
by kan78
Summary: Betrayal. Bitter and utter betrayal. It is too late to save yourself, but...will you finally be able to tell her how you feel?...before it's too late?


Hi guys! Well, this is my SECOND story written.

Things have been jumbled. Right now, I am going through a…hm…how should I say it? ...WRITER'S BLOCK for "You are Always There".

I thank everyone who reviewed. They have meant so much to me!

I, again, hope to work on my 1st story more, but I had to get this out of the way.

**DISCLAIMER:** I wish I owned him….

* * *

Betrayal was the first word to my mind.

Bitter and utter _betrayal._

My mind swam as I tried to catch my breath. I was running. Where? I can't tell, I don't know.

I don't _care._

The rain splatters across my face; it stings my nose, my cheeks. But for the moment, I am thankful.

No one can see the _damned_ tears.

I shouldn't be crying- I really shouldn't. It shouldn't _hurt;_ I can't _allow_ it to hurt…

Yet, here I am, crying like a fucking _pup._

I wipe my face with my hands, my claws scratching at my cheeks.

I don't care.

I just don't _care. _

It doesn't hurt. Nothing hurts. I am numb. I feel _nothing._

I don't care, I can't afford to care.

What will she say?

What will she _do?_

What does it matter?

_Why do I care?_

"I don't." I snarl, but here I am…in tears, running.

My chest tightens, but I don't stop running. I cannot stop.

I didn't need her. I never needed her.

But it still hurt like hell.

"NO!" I shout, my voice cracking from the raw emotion. It doesn't hurt. _It doesn't hurt._

Nothing hurts, I am numb.

I find myself in familiar area, and for once I am glad.

She can help. She can help.

"…or not."

I curse silently in my head, wiping the rain from my face.

Why would she care at all?

I hurt her, and I deserve the pain.

_But I don't feel pain. I am numb._

My feet stop, suddenly. As if instinct, I jolted to a halt. My chest hurts from running, but that will disappear soon. I just need….

"Kagome…" I whisper, my voice barely audible in the howling wind.

"Inuyasha! There you are! We have been searching _everywhere _for you?"

That's right, I had left. I had left them all alone, defenseless, running from them for my own, selfish needs.

She gets up from beneath the huge tree, _our _tree, and walks toward me. Her face shows something, but I can't tell at the moment.

It hurts. Oh, fuck does it hurt.

But it _shouldn't _hurt.

"Inuyasha…what happened? Are you okay?"

I jerk my head in a nod, but her beautiful brown eyes bear into mine. I drop my gaze.

"It doesn't hurt."

"_What?"_ I flinch. I didn't say that. No, I didn't. I couldn't have.

"What doesn't hurt…Inuyasha?" Her voice is gentle, soft, and my chest tightens. I can't breathe. No, it hurts. It hurts too much.

"K-Kagome…-"My voice breaks off and I slump to my knees. I hear her cry out my name in alarm. I can see her run towards me, but I can't… It hurts too much.

I feel her arms grab me, I feel the warmth of her body so close to mine. Her voice, it's so beautiful…

"Inuyasha! Please Inuyasha say something! Please!" I can tell she's going to cry…this is not the first time that she has cried for me. My heart thuds in my chest, a numbing ache that overtakes my body.

"Kagome," I groan out. "I'm sorry. I failed you." I can't protect her anymore. I can't go on. We haven't defeated Naraku, and now…. My chest is throbbing now. Pain has enveloped my body.

I'm not fine.

I'm not _fine._

She has begun to cry now, she has seen the wound. I honestly cannot remember how I got it, but I will never forget the person who had… I had thought that I had loved her. I abandoned Kagome for her too many times, and now…

"Who did this to you? Inuyasha, please answer me! We need to get you to Kaede's!" her voice has become a high shriek.

I won't make it to Kaede's; the poison has spread too far…and…

The new moon…

"Kagome" I grunt out, my voice sounding unfamiliar to me. "Wait."

She stills, looking at me with teary eyes. I can't stand it when she cries. I feel as if I have failed her, when she cries.

"Inuyasha?" her voice is thick, and I find myself sucking in a strangled breath. The poison, it is too much.

I won't make it.

_Kagome. I'm so sorry._

My mind goes blank as I pull her to me. I feel her trembling against me, but I have to make sure she knows. I pull her face closer to mine, raindrops sliding between us, and I press my lips to hers.

I thought she would have stiffened, pulled away, and yelled at me. I don't deserve her, but my mind is so foggy and I am so desperate to let her know how I truly feel.

She amazes me though. She kisses me back.

She _knows_….

And she feels the same way.

My heart is thundering, each beat driving pain through my body. I try not to think about that, though. I try to focus on Kagome, sweet Kagome.

Pain slices through my body, and I cut the perfect kiss off to scream in pain. I can hear her cry out my name; cry out for help, for someone….anyone.

It's too late….

Kagome…

I lift my eyes to her, tears falling from her eyes. I lift a hand up to wipe it away. She grasps my hand and holds it to her cheek.

I don't deserve her….

"Kagome." I croak, my eyelids becoming heavy. She sniffles loudly, the sound breaking my heart.

"I love you, Kagome." I whispered. Her eyes widened, and a smile crept onto my face.

_If I had the strength…._

"Inuyasha…I love you, too." Her words were sincere. She meant it…

It suddenly felt as if a damn had broken, a rope had snapped, and I felt myself engulfed in darkness.

"Inuyasha…."I hear her call, but I can no longer see her.

_Kagome. I need you._

"INUYASHA!"

The pain is too much. I want to hold on, but….

I slowly drift into the darkness….

Forever lost.

* * *

Wow, I am sorry. That was just totally depressing. Please don't hate me!

That was my second story.

hopefully I can update with "You Are Always There"

Again, sorry for that!


End file.
